Friday, September 4, 2009

a reflective time of year

starting school again (both the kids and me) always feels like such a "new beginning" ...

a big start and opportunity to do big, exciting, new and interesting things.

but almost immediately I find myself getting mired in the minutiae of just getting through the day:

the breakfast/lunch/snack/dinner [don't forget the coffee!] routine ...

the laundry piles: the dirty/to wash/to dry/to fold/"where are my uniform pants" piles ...

the attention needed for the dog/the bunnies/the house/the garden/the weeds ...

the touch base ~ make connections ~ check in ~ support ~ problem solve ~ communicate ...

*******

I really don't MAKE the time or find the energy or prioritize my efforts to include challenging personal endeavors (such as painting, writing, or researching new interests!)

What does that say about me and how much importance I put on personal growth.

I'm a tad bit nervous that I'm going to turn into one of those horribly bland and complacent middle aged women whose college-aged kids come home and say "Wow, mom WHAT do you do with your time/with your life?!"

I kinda cringe inwardly when I imagine my lack of response to such a critical (albeit accurate) observation.

I've always really wanted to DO something and BE something even contribute SOMETHING to the greater humanity ...

But right now I'm at a tremendous loss as to what the hell that something may be ...

5 comments:

Jeni said...

Good post, Molly.
I can relate -all too well -to your thoughts as for years, I had many ideas and even goals, similar to yours but somehow, something always got in the way.
I have in the past few years come to the conclusion that my "claim to fame" as it were, is to be here in a somewhat stabilizing form for my two younger grandchildren -Maya and Kurtis -both who are autistic. Kind of making up for the fact that when my kids were young, I had so very little time to be able to spend with them and now, I can do that with these two of my grandchildren at least.
Peace.

molly gras said...

Jeni -

Lovely words of support and so greatly appreciated!

Continued love and support your way!

Dave said...

How about the fact that you are raising some kids and teaching some kids? The hell with the laundry piles - write or paint something and alternate it with the laundry. If someone can't find something clean, explain the workings of the dials on the two machines.

molly gras said...

Dave -

Have I told you lately how much I adore you!

So thank you for your very kind words ... I think I'm actually going to be OK.

I just have to keep reminding myself that it's the people in my life that keep motivating me to be a better person!

Posol'stvo the Medved said...

Honey? Where are my socks? ;)