[I'm going to try and write this without proofreading and editing it to death. Here goes ...]
Life is kinda crazy right now. I have a friend who's falling apart and she has a husband and three kids and they are kinda cracking at the seams because she's falling apart. She doesn't really have much of a family to help her out -- a couple of sisters, a sister-in-law, and a mom -- but they all have lives. And they have been through this before. And so have I. This will be the third time, to be exact. First time, after second child was born -- bad postpartum depression. Second time, after third child was born -- worse postpartum depression. This time, well, she didn't like the anti-depression cocktail they'd concocted for her over the past three years and, figuratively, she decided to dump the whole mess down the drain. Now she's a manic, hasn't sleep in four weeks, mess while her immediate family and friends are left to watch her become a train wreck as a result.
I've been on the phone for hours: processing with her, letting her pour out and weep over what she's going through, setting up schedules for much-needed coverage of children, making a meal, tactfully processing with others who don't know her as well but want to understand and help. I've increased my driving time: driving her teenager home every evening after extra curricular activities, taking her middle son to his hockey practices and his hockey games so that dad can be home for her and their youngest.
For all of this, I wouldn't choose to do anything less. But I know myself, I won't last for long.
I'm tired, stressed and anxious. My husband and my kids are getting the worst version of me. My puppy is starting to react poorly to my unexpressed emotion. And I'm realizing I have to figure out some important things about all of this before it's too late. Such as, how long am I willing to plug in/coordinate/process this crisis before I turn indifferent, callous and cynical about some else's pain? How long am I willing to dedicate a hefty chunk of my mental energy to someone else's needs before I start to see some detrimental consequences within my own life?
I'm typically a very private person and I'm rather respectful of other people's private issues: I really don't like having to have this much input into another person's life. This whole scenario has thrown me into a very uncomfortable place and I'm not so sure I want to be here for much longer.