OK, OK ... I know I've been on a major negative roll lately:
wah! wah! No money! wah! wah! Frustrated with life!
But the fact of the matter is that I'm about to turn 40 (in May!), I'm stumbling about trying to raise 3 kids, I don't give my husband nearly the amount of attention he truly deserves, and I'm stuck in a strange professional predicament.
I'm also having these middle of the night palpitations over "Is this what I want to DO for the rest of my life?" "What the hell is WRONG with me?!" "Where am I going to get the money for THAT?!" ... stuff like that.
I can't concentrate, I can't be happy and I'm stressed out of my gourd.
I hate where I am right now and am struggling mightily to figure things out.
Here's a Facebook comment I slammed out yesterday summarizing my current state:
Lately I've been freaking out because of where I'm at: emotionally and professionally speaking. Currently I'm sitting at a crossroads and the fastly approaching summer (i.e.: impoverished season!) is starting to invade my psyche.
I want work = make enough money + schedule flexible + be available to my kids
I want to feel useful + be proud of what I do = job satisfaction
I want to be involved in an occupation that challenges me + motivates me + taps into my creative strengths ...
making money vs. fulfilling personal passions ...
Currently none of these things are meshing! :(
I know, I know ... wah! wah!
So instead of whining and grousing, maybe I should do a better job of getting perspective:
healthy, mostly happy family (*check)
kids happy at school (*check)
house in good neighborhood (*check)
food when needed (*check)
clothes and shoes (*check)
transportation easily accessible (*check)
great friends who want to spend time with me (*check)
I really could go on and on ...
but I've done enough to remind myself of the important things.