Tuesday, June 24, 2008

home bound

It's already been a whirlwind summer ... and we are not even through June.

I drove 11 1/2 hours to Oak Island, North Carolina--without Pos: just me and the kids--to make a last minute vacation happen with family and friends.

It was a blast! The weather was great, the kids had a great time and the gin and tonics were superb!!

Then five days later, I drove another 11 1/2 hours back home. I think if I never see I-95 (and that godawful loop around D.C.!!) I won't be sad.

And then I'm home barely 24 hours when I get the call.

My granddad is finally passing and my mom is absolutely distraught.

I'm torn: #1 I want to go and support her and my sister. #2 I've already said my goodbyes to the lovely old man last year: I don't want my last memory of him to be that of a unrecognizable shell. #3 I want to be here, with Pos and the kids: I don't want to experience the gamut of emotion that's sure to greet me when I get there.

But I'm going. Today. And I'll be gone for a whole week. Not knowing what to expect.

My granddad passed away last night. He quietly drifted off, in his own bed, with his eldest daughter at his side.

I'm going home to be with my family, but I just know that I'll be torn the whole time I'm there. Deep down, and true to my nature, I simply want to be in my own home with my own family grieving in my own way.


Jeni said...

My condolences to you and your family on the passing of your grandfather. I can understand your feelings totally -been there, done that. But in the grand scheme of things, sometimes just being around those others who knew, loved the person as you did, is so great a feeling, wraps the warmth around you like a nice cozy blanket during a time when you can each rely on the other for a little lift as you go through all the rituals then. Just stay safe. Peace.

lil sis said...

I just need to say that I'm so drunk and so is Molly Gras. She is at my house. And, though I am sad because our father figure is gone, I'm sooooooo happy she is here drinking with me!!!!! I wish she were here or me there at least six months a year. Any more and we would hate each other!!! (as she leans over to kiss me and giggle!!!!!!) Love you Molly!!!!!!

Dave said...

All my best.