I have less than motivation, less than enthusiasm, less than gumption
to get up and go.
It must be the dog-days of summer now ...
so I'll simply say, "bow-wow-wow".
Regardless of my mental state,
I have summer school to plan and prep for --
call previous year's teachers; look over potential materials; make a sensible schedule,
etc.
but I don't want to.
I want to mope around
and feel lazy,
and feel useless,
and feel stupid
because that's how I feel right now.
but I want to be energized,
engaged,
creative,
productive,
successful ...
but right now,
I'm none of those things ...
and maybe
(I'm guessing here)
that my funk may stem from
knowing
that more than likely
I've never been one of those wonderful things
and most likely
never will ...
compost, man
I'm feeling like a pile of compost ...
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