time to stuff some mattresses

The value of a dollar is totally tanking.
The current exchange rate is horrid.
The Chinese are rattling their multi-trillion dollar piggy bank,
and are contemplating a currency shake out.

My visions of spending dollars this holiday season,
and then next year abroad as francs,
appears at the present to be rather foolish.
What's a middle-class American to do?

Swim across the Pacific Ocean,
paddle along the South China Sea,
sneak across the Guangzhou border,
and lie in wait for them to begin their massive monetary dump.

I'll snatch it by the handfuls and stuff it in every crevice I possess
then I'll slink back home and fill my mattress to the seams.
In the hopes that it’ll last for more than a week,
or a day,
or even an hour,
as I attempt the impossible --
try living the American Dream.