Saturday, February 2, 2008

seventeen

Ah, a lovely age to experience adolescent angst,
but this isn't about the teenage years.

For me, those memories are complicated and chaotic;
therefore, I will save that for later.


This, however, is about how many years I've managed to remain married,
to the same guy:

The wonderful, incredible, always brilliant Pos!

[BEWARE: it's the "love bandits", circa 1991]

This yearly milestone is an incredible tribute to
tenacity,
deep affection,
mutual respect,
open-mindedness,
flexibility,
shared goals,
and shared perspectives.


Because when we started out
we started out with some not-so-good role models,
preceding us.

And that reality,
I think,
made things pretty tough,
to navigate
the early rough waters
of minor martial discord.

Between the two of us
we've experienced three divorces,
and five different marriages.
Not on our own --
but through our collective sets of parents.

And so far ...
we've worked hard,
not to continue
that family tradition.

And we still have many, many years ahead
to keep working hard.

So every year
when Punxsutawny Phil
[AKA "the Groundhog"]
takes a peep outside
for a possible glimpse of his shadow,
I gladly anticipate
not six more weeks of winter
or even the arrival of an early spring,
but minutes, moments
days and weeks
of continued martial harmony
and bliss.

8 comments:

Jeni said...

I read this and all I could think of was that if more people (preferably all or most, actually) would adopt the tenets you put forth here, do you think the divorce rate would be around 50-60 percent of all marriages ending that way? I sure don't think it would. Too many people regard the marriage vows as just some words, meaningless, or perhaps there, just to be broken. And without a thought to the collateral damage it costs, without doing the hard work of trying to remain true to those words, they all too often just throw up their hands, toss in the cards and the towel and walk away. Not all do the divorce route in that manner but all too many do. Marriage - a good, strong, healthy marriage takes every ounce of those components you listed and a whole lot of hard work too in order to keep them at the forefront. Sounds to me like you and Pos have a lot of hard work ahead of you in one respect -to keep remembering those things - but yet, an easy road too because you'll keep them there as your guideposts!
Peace!

Hedy said...

Thanks for sharing this. Best wishes, you two. :)

baby sis said...

ARRAGGHHH!!! I suck! I forgot to call you guys and wish you happy anniversary. In my defense, I was barely hanging on to reality at the Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade. Please forgive your sister who is so bad at calling anyone for anyting. Congratulations on not killing each other!

Dave said...

Baby Sis answered my question. Happy Anniversary.

molly gras said...

Jeni -
Your observations/summation of the state of divorce is right on -- I'm just so thankful to be on the other side of those statistics.

Hedy -
Thanks so much for the thoughtful words. And here's me sending some of those good vibes right back at ya -- best to you and Jim!

Baby sis -
Honey, don't sweat it! Did you at least catch some decent Mardi Gras beads? You know, show some boobage on my behalf? After all, it is my anniversary and it would be nice to get some of the nicer beads to commemorate the event ;)

Dave -
Thanks for popping by and being so thoughtful -- glad to see you're out and about; hopefully feeling loads better.

Posolxstvo said...

Having our anniversary on groundhog day has been great. I never forget the date, and each year we get to see if Phil sees his shadow; if so, six more years of marriage :) .

Omega Mum said...

Didn't those black bits across your eyes ever make it difficult when you were meeting for a date?

molly gras said...

OM -
It was the only way I could convince him to pick me!!